Use honorific language (keigo) with strangers and superiors
Japanese has three levels of politeness built right into the language. When you meet someone new or talk to your boss, you shift into keigo (敬語)—a formal speech pattern that shows respect through specific verb forms, vocabulary, and sentence structures. It's not just being polite; it's linguistic architecture that acknowledges social hierarchy and maintains harmony. Think of keigo as verbal bowing. You wouldn't greet the company president the same way you'd talk to your college roommate, and Japanese grammar makes this distinction automatic. Master the basics, and you'll navigate everything from job interviews to meeting your partner's parents with the right level of respect.
Quick essentials
- Keigo has three types: Sonkeigo (尊敬語) for elevating others, kenjougo (謙譲語) for humbling yourself, and teineigo (丁寧語) for general politeness
- Default with strangers: Always start formal and let them guide you to casual speech
- Age and status matter: Use keigo with anyone older, higher-ranking, or unfamiliar
- Context shifts everything: Same person might get keigo at work, casual speech at the bar
FAQ
When exactly should I use keigo?
First meetings, workplace conversations, service interactions, formal events, and with anyone significantly older. Better to over-formal than accidentally rude.
What if I mess up the grammar?
Native speakers appreciate the effort. Your intent matters more than perfect conjugation. A sincere attempt at respect beats casual speech every time.
How do I know when to drop keigo?
They'll signal it. Younger people might say "tame-go de ii desu yo" (casual speech is fine). Follow their lead, don't assume.
Do I use keigo with people younger than me?
Depends. Your junior colleague at work? Yes. Random teenager asking directions? Probably not. Professional context usually trumps age.
What about texting and social media?
Written keigo follows the same rules. Business emails, formal messages, first-time contacts all get the formal treatment.
Can keigo sound fake or overdone?
Absolutely. There's elegant keigo and robot keigo. Natural timing and appropriate level matter more than showing off complex forms.
Related Japanese terms
- Sonkeigo (尊敬語)
- Kenjougo (謙譲語)
- Teineigo (丁寧語)
- Tatemae (建前)
- Uchi-soto (内外)
- Senpai-kohai (先輩後輩)
The keigo system explained
Three pillars of respect
Sonkeigo elevates the other person. You're not just saying they "went" somewhere—they "honorably went" (irasshaimashita いらっしゃいました). Their actions get upgraded linguistically.
Kenjougo downgrades your own actions. You don't just "go"—you "humbly go" (mairimasu 参ります). You're linguistically bowing while you speak.
Teineigo adds the politeness layer everyone recognizes. Those desu/masu endings that make Japanese sound formal to foreign ears.
Reading the room
Keigo isn't a switch you flip once. It's dynamic. Your company's new intern might start with full keigo, then gradually relax as you build rapport. But that same person will snap back to formal speech when the department head walks by.
Watch for cues. Someone using casual forms with you? They're opening the door. Someone maintaining keigo after multiple interactions? They want that boundary.
Common keigo swaps
Regular Japanese has layers of formality built into basic vocabulary:
- Eat: taberu → meshiagaru (for others), itadaku (for yourself)
- Say: iu → ossharu (for others), mōshiageru (for yourself)
- Be: iru → irassharu (for others), oru (for yourself)
- Give: ageru → sashiageru (to superiors)
- Receive: morau → itadaku (from superiors)
The evolution angle
Keigo developed alongside Japan's hierarchical society. Samurai culture, Confucian influence, and centuries of rigid social stratification created this linguistic complexity. Modern Japan has loosened many social rules, but keigo remains embedded in professional life.
Younger generations use less complex keigo, but they still use it. The forms might simplify, but the underlying principle—language that acknowledges relationship dynamics—stays strong.
Practical mastery
Start with teineigo. Get comfortable with desu/masu forms before diving into sonkeigo and kenjougo complexity. Learn the common verb substitutions. Practice until the rhythm feels natural, not rehearsed.
Most importantly: pay attention to what native speakers do around you. Keigo is social music, and you learn it by listening to the patterns.